borderlinetraumatized:

slimecourse:

eversoslightlybitter:

You know what I just realized? I really don’t get allosexuals.
*Example*
I’m hanging out with friends. Two of them are together. One of them looks at the other and says, “I’m thirsty”.
Now I know there are two definitions for thirsty. But I have no idea which definition they’re using.
I mean, they were kind of looking at each other sexually? *Side note: allo body language is strange too.*
So I start looking for something else to do in case they start making out. I mean, I guess I COULD try to carry on the conversation with them, but that seems a little rude.
They notice.
They start going over the top with sexual language, exaggerated voices, blah, blah.

Allos who know I’m ace tend to do this around me. I don’t know why. Is it normal allo behavior? Is it because I look uncomfortable? Is it because my life is actually a sitcom, and it gets a laugh from the audience? These are questions that will continue to be asked, but never answered.

Anyway, they leave. I now assume the orginal statement was sexual, and they left to go to their place to fuck.

They come back 15 minutes later, having gone to Walmart for Cokes. I state my confusion, they point out my mistake, laugh, and call me a prude.

HOW was I supposed to know?!

Is there some kind of secret allo code? Are they telepathic?

So if someone could explain this to me, that would be great.

Also, when I look away from people kissing/making out, I get the same, “Don’t be a prude” reaction.

…?

I can only look at you or away from you? I was trying to be polite by giving you space? Seriously, do allos just watch their friends kiss/make out?

I am so confused.

Send help.

your friends: we’re thirsty

you: i bet they’re gonna fuck

your friends: *get drinks bc they’re thirsty*

you: WHO can understand HOW allos think ??? those WEIRD ALLOS !! just TOO UNPREDICTABLE

IM SORRY BUT THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE POSTS TO EVER EXIST