thatswhatpeoplefondue:

highcollargirl:

yoiplait:

terms for penis you should not use in fics:

• love stick
• doinker
• schlong
• wankie
• ding dong
• 100% all-beef thermometer
• bologna pony
• stinky pickle
• magic wand
• divine rod
• love muscle
• power drill
• captain winky
• yogurt slinger
• DNA rifle 

i want someone to write a fic using all of these terms at least once

may i add “no-no carrot”?