direct-to-dvd barbie movies ranked by homosexual subtext

opera-ghost:

lesbiansupergirl:

• Barbie in the Nutcracker: Great Christmas movie and classic Barbie, and there is an obvious gay couple who dance ballet together in the finale. No lesbianism, but there is so mlm love, so 8/10
• Barbie as Rapunzel: While objectively one of the best Barbie movies, it has zero gay energy. The only gay thing that happened in this movie was the two mains falling in love as soon as they met. For sentimental purposes though: 4/10
• Barbie of Swan Lake: There is definitely some chemistry happening between Odette and the Fairy Queen. Also the sister exudes lesbian energy. 7/10
• Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper: As a story about two girls destined to meet across class lines, driven together by fate and circumstance, it is satisfyingly gay. However, the gayness is slightly undermined by two heterosexual plotlines with two regretfully endearing men. 8/10
• Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus: There are no shippable girls in this story, as the only other main girl is Annika’s sister. Maybe there was a forbidden love between Brietta and the Cloud Queen? (Forbidden because Brietta was, in fact, a horse.) 5/10
• The Barbie Diaries: At first this movie looked aggressively heterosexual. Then I realized that the dynamic between Barbie and Kevin is a lesbian narrative. I mean, Kevin is the friend who is always there for her, constantly overlooked in favor of Mr. Popular, and in the end he shows her that he is right for her because he genuinely cares about her wellbeing and just wants to treat her the way she deserves? That’s lesbianing. Barbie is a confused bisexual, but she figures it out. Also Tia and Courtney are dating, and someday Raquelle will realize she’s a lesbian when she stops inhaling so much hairspray. 8/10
• Barbie in a Mermaid Tale: Hadley and Fallon are sporty girlfriends, Kayla and Xylie are high femme girlfriends. So many shippable girls. 10/10
• Barbie: Spy Squad: Oh my god. Dream gay girl squad. Three shippable girls, and a chaotic neutral lesbian antagonist turned good who flirts with Barbie. One of the best. 100/10
• Barbie: Star Light Adventure: 1) This movie is so good that I cried. 2) The relationship between Barbie and Sal-Lee is beautiful. It’s also so easy to write off the heterosexual love story as friendship. 1000/10
• Barbie Video Game Hero: This movie is awkward when it comes to shipping because none of the characters are, um, real. Also this movie scares me. 0/10

i can’t believe you left preminger out of the rating for princess and the pauper. the man literally oozes chaotic gay vibes and how can i refuse is quite possibly the gayest song i’ve ever heard in an animated movie