ok so the other day i was at sears. I was in the baby section. Im standing there looking at clothes and a lady who works there comes up and is like “oh are you expecting?” And i was like “uhhhh” and because im a dumbass i was like “no i already delivered.” And she was like “How long ago?” And i was just like “two weeks.” And she said “wow! You look great! When i had my first son, i looked like a mess for six months. Is it a boy or a girl?” And i was just awkwardly like “a girl….” And she asked her name and i said Chernobyl and she was like “oh what a cute name! It sounds really familiar.” And i honestly just stood there going through all that and pretending i had a human baby two weeks ago named Chernobyl because i didnt wanna tell this poor lady i was buying baby clothes for my fucking baby opossum
So my neighbor was out camping and met Keanu Reeves who was also camping (I guess he likes dogs because he came up and said “I love these dogs!” about her rottweiler) and she said she thought she was crazy for a minute because no one else knew he was there and it turns out Keanu was just there chilling with a one-man tent and a cooler and his little Dodge car and every time someone looked at him he’d just turn his face away and it’s kind of just solidified in my mind that Keanu Reeves is a cryptid.
Penhales 