8tracks finally realized that no one was going to treat it like spotify 2.0, and you can listen again for free (with ads, of course) which of course means We’re Back On Character Playlist Content 2018 folks
hey zoe i just need you to know that it’s 2018 and i drew an 8tracks cover art for a ‘massacre route’ playlist i finally remember how it feels like to be alive
Character playlists are the only valid past time on this bitch of a planet, thank you for reviving a lost art. Make sure you have adblock/ghostery so you can listen to your jams ad-free + sequentially
tbh im kinda glad that a lot of the realistic pokemon in the detective pikachu trailer are high key teetering on the edge of uncanny valley because like.. these are fantasy creatures that sort of talk and shoot fucking electricity and vines and fire and psychic energy out their eyeballs, they SHOULD look weird and alien. psyduck is a pokemon defined by the fact that it is experiencing an unending headache that motherfucker better look like he has seen the rise and fall of civilization itself. mr mime is literally like three brain cells away from being straight up human the sight of one should make me uncomfortable.
basically what im saying is we have been spoon-fed woobified anime pokemon for too long. put the monster back in pocket monsters.
me, late 20s, discovering i love to cook, and have neck pain: holy shit i’m going to turn into a person who does yoga
me, buying paper napkins and eyebanging a herb garden: i’m having an identity crisis
me: *reaches automatically for coaster, catches sight of my reflection in my newly purchased wine glasses that were on sale*: i don’t know who you are anymore
“i’m not a fan of embellishments on throw pillows, they tend to snag” I say, and gasp in horror at what I’ve become
“Did you know they make odorized garbage bags now?” I say without flinching, the sclerae of my eyes as black and ashen as my soul
THIS IS MY FAVORITE GAME TO PLAY WITH MY FRIENDS!!!!
It’s called “We’re getting old” and the way you play it is you have to be the first person to realize when you’ve said something old. Notable examples include:
A container store?! Can we go?!
If I could change one thing about the world, I’d make every printer color.
God, I hope fax machines become obsolete.
My chickens are doing okay. Would you like some eggs?
Stop saying the dwarves of Khazad Dum ‘dug too greedily and too deep’ DWARVES DIG. IT’S WHAT THEY DO. I did’t see any of you popping over to let Durin VI know that he’s on top of a Balrog, how was anyone supposed to know! Saying it was ‘too deep’ or ‘too greedy’ is just Sindar propaganda, as if yall weren’t super content to sit pretty and huff weed in Menegroth while everyone else did the heavy lifting. Maybe if you’d done ANYTHING during the first age there wouldn’t BE a balrog under there in the fIRST PLACE!!! EVER THINK OF THAT? CELEBORN?
Penhales 