i was born and raised and still live in oregon which is a little place you guys might know as “the big moist”. but here’s a fun fact. in the transition period between seasons there’s like a 50/50 chance it will get insanely dry and windy for a week. and here’s the scoop. here’s the hot load. hear me out. if i get static shocked one more fucking time im going to get one of those little pet stairs that let your short legged dogs get on furniture. and im going to use it to take my little ass up on to the pearly gates. and im going to bite god
This is actually a reworking of a pre-Slack Wyrm post I made to Tumblr about four years ago, so if you’ve been following me for a while, you might remember it. I just couldn’t resist adding the cockatrice into the Slack Wyrm world. I love him so much! 🙂
‘Jesus’ comes from a shortening of the Hebrew version of the name Joshua, while ‘Christ’ simply means ‘the anointed one.’ To make this clearer to modern Christians, I propose a new Bible translation where Jesus is referred to only as “oily Josh”
There’s something really unsavory about oily Josh and his 12 teenage friends.
the saddest sight in the world is a married couple at a musical and the wife is super excited and happy and the husband looks like he was dragged along and he’s making a big deal about how much he doesn’t want to be there and the wife gets embarrassed or ashamed. this isn’t a funny post, it’s actually heartbreaking and i see it happen at like every other musical i attend.
Yeah, as an usher what makes me sad is when I see wives clearly dressed in their Sunday best, beaming and buying merch and smiling at me as I hand them a program, toting some guy dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt who declines a program. And that’s at least a quarter of the couples who come in or more. Like come on man, she really loves this stuff, can’t you try to enjoy it for her at least?
About as bad as when you see a big-eyed kid who looks like this is the greatest day of their life, all excited to see this show, and their parent/grandparent/aunt/Cousin/Friend/whoever they convinced to take them keeps making fun of them and saying how dumb or ridiculous they’re being. For Gods sake, this is a person you care about and this is a thing that means a lot to them. Smile, get off your phone, and be happy for them.
This reminds me of the time I went to Universal Studios Hollywood for New Years – that’s the time they have The Wizarding World of Harry Potter on. I was so excited and beaming! But the whole time my brother was talking about how me and everyone there is lame, how “only weird people obsess over make-believe stuff” literally taking the fun out of everything and making me feel bad for being overexcited. He brought up how I didn’t even like Harry Potter until just recently and making me feel bad in general. Not one to be super emotional, but I seriously felt like crying because I wanted to be so happy but I had no one to share it with and the person I was there with was making me feel ridiculous for enjoying the thing I had been looking forward to for a long time. You’re not cool when you put down other people for their interests, you’re just plain boring and a dick.
“You’re not cool when you put down other people for their interests, you’re just plain boring and a dick.”
reminder: being an asshole isn’t a substitute for having a personality
Penhales 