IF YOU NEED TO CALL 911 BUT ARE SCARED TO BECAUSE OF SOMEONE IN THE ROOM, dial and ask for a pepperoni pizza. They will ask if you know you’re calling 911. Say yes, and continue pretending you’re making an order. They’ll ask if there’s someone in the room.
You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.
My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her. She had passed out in her room and locked the door. He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex. He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”. He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge. I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking. He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”. Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report. Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me. Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison. The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen.
This was 14 years ago.
Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can. The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:
“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.” I said I want extra mushrooms.
“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.” I said I want onions.
She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.
They’ve heard this sort of coded call before. They’re trained for it. They will understand what you’re saying. Order the pizza.
Really though. I’m in training for dispatch and this was one of the first things they taught us. Pretend you’re talking to a friend or relative, pretend you’re ordering pizza, we’ll figure it out. We’ll word questions so you can answer in an easy, casual way. Please, just make the call and we will do everything we can to help you.
Reblog to save a life
I’m sorry but this is misinformation. There is no “code” and a lot of times people use this to prank call 911, it’s very unlikely you’ll be taken seriously if you attempt this!
If you cannot safely call, some areas have text lines open. Research the emergency services in your area and have a plan ready on how to use them.
If you’re pressed for time and can only call quickly, the first bit of info you need to give is your address. They can’t help you if they can’t find you. And tracing calls is unreliable on landlines half the time, and impossible on cell phones. These are dispatchers, not hackers.
Even if you’re not in a situation to give more info, that’s what they need the most. Even if you don’t have time to explain the emergency, at least they know where you are. Just get your address to them somehow.
every year around christmas me and my grandma play this fun family game called “maybe you want to put jesus in your room instead, sweetie? :)”. now, it’s important to note that the jesus referred to in our game is not actually the real jesus christ, but instead a wooden figure i made in 2011 that has an uncanny resemblance to the lord and savior himself
so what happens is that i place jesus in our living room, and my grandma smiles and asks me if i don’t want to decorate my room with him instead. i ask her in return if she thinks my jesus figure is ugly (which he is), but she reassures me that this is not the case. however, a couple of days later jesus mysteriously disappears from our living room, and appear in my room instead
now, the real jesus christ might have been able to perform a miracle like this, but please remember that the jesus in our story is only a figure made out of wood. he can not move on his own, so i think we can safely say that my grandma is the prime suspect here
the first year i would often confront my grandma about this, but she would always make up an excuse and never straight up tell me she moved him because he’s so ugly it’s an embarrassment to the family
eventually i grew tired of her lies, so now we only move jesus around in silence. one second he’s in the living room, the next he’s back in my room. in a way i think this adds an extra element of excitement to the holiday season, because you never know for sure when jesus is going to be moved again
on the one hand this is a joke post because lol i have never made a good post in my life, but also, if i hadn’t made the connection
between this update and my sudden nosedive in activity, i would have been really fucking discouraged about all the shit i’ve been working on lately. i guarantee there are people on tumblr right now who haven’t made that connection, and who are trying to figure out why suddenly no one likes anything they’ve made. and that fucking sucks.
Reminder to go into your settings and turn off ‘Best Stuff First’ because my activity’s tanked a couple days ago for no reason so this stuff IS happening.
You WILL miss content with that setting on.
i ain’t joking when i say that my activity looks JUST like this too and i wasn’t sure why
I can only find the option on the app under Settings > Dashboard Preferences.
To support content creators do us a favour and turn off “Best stuff first”. Open the tumblr app (Android or iOs) and go to “Settings > Dashboard Preferences. And please reblog this post, so that everybody will see this. Thank you very much!
you can’t make this up
Adding mine, even tho my numbers are on the whole a lot lower ^_^;; But yeah, this is BS >_<
oh wow, y’all weren’t kidding
non-chronological timelines are poison for content creators
but sneaking in businesses and sponsored shit is more important I suppose
¯_(ツ)_/¯
added a picture of the notes on last month cause my posts are a bit erratic following my mood, but it seems I am impacted too ʕ꒦ິᴥ꒦ິ`ʔ
It’s the same for me.. Why is Tumblr app always like thisssssssssss
I love the use of the word “arrives” like it was expected yet also somewhat feared
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lies darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I thought I had seen the majority of awesome TDV pictures out there, and then this pops up! This is so freaking cute! It’s a tiny bat! Krolock looks so focused on taking care of his fellow creature of the night.
Reforce necessity! The two creatures of the night ♥
Penhales 