every single time cornelia funke describes dustfinger speaking to flames “lovingly” to try to console or cajole it all i can think of is how he’s essentially dirty talking this fucking fire like
*screams, clanging of swords, the roar of the Prince’s bear*
Dustfinger: hey how ya doin lil mama lemme whisper in ya ear
I always thought of it more like the way you speak to your pet? Like Dustfinger talking into his hands like he’s got a tiny kitty in there and he’s trying to get it to walk three steps forward and headbutt his hand.
Y’all really gotta stop throwing ya boyfriend’s video game systems in pools and cuttin up they shoes and lighting they clothes on fire just because you mad or you want his attention bc if he responded by throwing them $100 eyeshadow palettes in the pool or cuttin up a brand new lace wig you gon be pissed as hell, as you should be. It’s not cute, it’s abusive. And you need to fuckin stop
Say it louder for the parents who think it’s okay to destroy their kids stuff as retaliation for disrespect
foggy cemeteries or abandoned churches? black silk or black velvet? tea leaf readings or tarot card readings? black cats or black bats? haunted houses or haunted forests? ghost stories or urban legends? seances or ouija boards?
friends deep lore: the reason chandler is so bad at generally existing in the 90s/early 2000s is he actually died in 1843 of lead poisoning and now he’s been reanimated by dark wizard ross (a homophobe) and the only way to break free of his curse of living undead is to find love and luckily he shares a flat with friendly modern man joey who teaches him the way of the world and maybe just, maybe, he also teaches him the meaning of love. 200k, slowburn, fisting
Penhales 