Uncategorized – Page 86

You know what the real cryptid is? Clean glasses

the scariest president had to be Rushmore because he had four heads

vikinghearts1313:

xenosagaepisodeone:

having a permanent full time job is you thinking to yourself “so this is really the rest of my life huh” as you come home every single day before using your 4 hours of recreational activity to do nothing and then going to bed

Kind of disagree? I get bored sometimes too, but most days I’m perfectly content to come home. Practically ecstatic to see my kids, my furbabes, and my darling, gorgeous, brilliant, capable, and strong Master.

They light up my life and make it richer in so many ways.

your strong who

evilsupplyco:

So when YOU sew a bunch of unmatched parts together, it is “a quilt” and “a beautiful gift” and “will assuredly become a family heirloom” but when I sew a bunch of unmatched parts together it is “A MONSTER” and “AN ABOMINATION, AN AFFRONT TO THE GODS” and goes on “A MURDEROUS KILLING SPREE.”

nicolauda:

i forgot what BFG stood for and i was sitting there for a good five minutes going, “no. no. they wouldn’t have called a kids film ‘big fucking giant.’ would they? would they?”

Y’all today my dumb ass got so excited that someone viewed my profile on [unnamed social platform] that I enabled the free trial to find out if it was who I hoped it was and it was my goddamn stalker. Call me boo boo the fool from here on out.