hey so one time i met someone who was drawing a photo-realistic picture in ballpoint pen and complimented him on it so we started to talk about art and how nice it made us feel to make art etc etc and he was like “what about you? do you draw? draw a wolf on this” and i was like GLADLY, I DRAW WOLVES ALL THE TIME and spat this out in 20 seconds and i dont think ive ever seen someone go from pleasant friendliness to incomprehensible disgust quickly before. he told me it was “a farce” and “an insult” and “a waste” that i had “severe, unhelpable emotional problems” that caused me to be “detached from reality” and “hurt everyone around me” thats why i drew wolves so badly and anyway i still have it and intend to get it tattooed on my body someday.
apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office
this is the phone. he apparently was in the middle of a meeting with the department the other day and got annoyed so he pressed a button, said “I have to take this” and left
David’s co-workers probably: “This is a valid tactic to embarrass him into buying a mobile phone, right?”
David: “Bold of you to assume that I get embarrassed.”
Penhales 