what if you’re giving birth to twins and it’s the end of daylights savings day and the older twin was born first but the second twin travels back in time and is born an hour before the first twin, would that be fucked up or what.
I know this isn’t Bojack related, but recently instead of turning men down by saying “no, thank you”, I experimented with saying “I’m engaged” and flashing a ring instead.
Needless to say, I am not engaged. It still worked better than just saying “no”, but then came questions like “so where is your fiancé?” and “he let you go out by yourself looking like that?” or just remaining persistent in asking for my number.
So I went into my closet, and pulled out a fiancé.
Now when I turn men down and they need further proof, they can know that I would rather lug around a 5 foot tall plastic skeleton to Steak n Shake and fake a proposal than give them my number.
His name is Braunschweiger Last-Name and I think I’m going to take his last name.
The year is 1987, and all the special effects and general vibe are very Lost Boys/Fright Night-ish.
The inn is a roadside motel in New England. Graf von Krolock looks like a normal, respectable man of about 40 and doesn’t have an accent relative to the other characters. He probably wears glasses.
Herbert’s his actual biological son, born to some unfortunate woman now shambling around in the backyard in the early 1940s, but he only turned him sometime in the late 1950s out of some twisted desire to keep his queer kid safe from the rest of the world. Herbert’s resentment at safety equalling being stuck in fucking Grey Gardens Lite shows.
Magda is probably named Maggie and she’s some kind of college girl who housekeeps at the motel over breaks. She’s the one who leads them to the house (not a castle in this one) because she hopes, according to more typical vampire movie rules, that staking Krolock will restore her humanity through the whole linked bloodlines deal, and also because the tension is even higher when one of the heroes is herself resisting eating the other two, and also because this is my AU and I don’t want to see her in a box fucking the old man who turned her.
Sarah has stolen a bunch of magazines from the motel rooms to cut out pictures of movie stars and musicians to tack up on her ceiling.
The ball is a huge glamorous party with vampires from all over the world coming. Krolock invited Sarah’s favorite band to provide music. He plans on letting the guests eat them. Some mild humor is wrung out of this.
There’s probably eventually an independent comic book tieing in to “Army of Darkness”.
I know this was for bad AUs, but this is the AU I want.
Penhales 