boochieflipflops:

evilspice:

those memes about “having my first meal of the day at 5pm” appall and discuss me i can’t relate bc i like to give my body fuel .. rebecca black said “gotta have my bowl gotta have cereal” and i agree, apply that

depression retired

eversolewd:

yumantimatter:

mistbornthefinal:

speakertoyesterday:

identicaltomyself:

yieldsfalsehoodwhenquined:

another-normal-anomaly:

regexkind:

argumate:

invertedporcupine:

koito-yuu:

yumantimatter:

jaiwithinnumerableunblinkingeyes:

tommyeatseaton:

sufficientlylargen:

Every time I see a post about updog I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help the poster complete their joke.

okay but what’s updog ?

Updog is a long sausage in a bun often served with ketchup, mustard, onion e, and/or relish.

No, that’s a hotdog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released

You’re thinking of update. Updog is when you end a sentence with a rising intonation.

No, that’s uptalk. You’re thinking of the fourth-largest city in Sweden.

surely that’s Uppsala, whereas Updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs

You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

no that’s an updraft

updog isn’t a noun at all, it’s a verb; it basically means to chew someone out, or harshly lecture them

No, that’s upbraid. An updog is a small dog that likes cuddling on people’s laps.

No that’s a puppydog. An updog is when the Mets win.

No that’s an upset. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

What’s a henway?

Oh, about 5 pounds.

timemachineyeah:

happyhealthycats:

Citra is REALLY bad at meowing. She sounds like a broken party favor when she remembers to actually meow.

OH MY GOD

raining-skies:

vintageinstepford:

This is my cat, Brigitte.

24 hours after I brought her home, I got a mindblowing job offer. Since I adopted her nine years ago, my life has become an amusement park. She has brought me good luck ever since I took her into my home.

I’m telling you, there’s something about this animal. Good fortune follows her everywhere.

I don’t want to be selfish. I have everything I need and then some. So, I’m sharing her with you.

Reblog Brigitte and you’ll receive fantastic news in the next 24 hours.

And when you do, please remember to help your local SPCA and support them in the difficult work they do for wonder animals like Brigitte. Any donation helps your SPCA, even if it’s just five bucks.

Kitties like Brigitte are counting on you to give back when they bring you good luck.

Thanks, and congratulations on your good news!

we out here spreading those Lucky Cat Vibes™®

telumvox:

Shit, you were the one

(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)

jewishmilesedgeworth:

jewishmilesedgeworth:

jewishmilesedgeworth:

so excited about the prospect of finally having an apartment of my own that i got the shakes in the home goods section of a TJ Max

concerned bystander: ma’am? are you all right?
me, on the verge of tears: apardmint…….

i panicked and bought a set of tasteful novelty dish towels

“Oh, you use ‘Phandom’ instead of ‘Fandom’?”

foreveraphan14:

http://penhales.tumblr.com/post/179813083393/audio_player_iframe/penhales/tumblr_ool4t6wLJq1s3rdxd?audio_file=https%3A%2F%2Fa.tumblr.com%2Ftumblr_ool4t6wLJq1s3rdxdo1.mp3

saintalia:

one dragon’s cool, you know what’s cooler? a billion dragons.

weepycat:

weepycat:

weepycat:

we’ve started feeding this tortoiseshell-point siamese recently. she’s beautiful, aside from the fact she has disturbingly big, bulging blue eyes. we’ve started calling her… ‘goop’

it’s goop!

GUESS WHO HAD GOOPLETS! SIX ENTIRE BABIES! mama goop held onto her gooplings for an entire week longer than she had to, so the gooplitos came out very well done and fluffy!!